Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Open sesame, the gates have been open...

Two more days, and then I will be FREE from summatives! Then comes exam week right after, great...But I only have two exams, YAY! But I might hafta take summer school if I don't do well on my 30% math final...yes, it's that bad, sobsob.

I can't stand how teachers always talk about how I'm smart and have potential, but I just need to work harder. I can't stand it because it's so true! I procrastinate, I'm lazy, and argh, if I was one of those kids who did all their assignments the day it was handed out instead of 3 weeks later the night before, IMAGINE what my average would be like!

I do everything the night before, from like 1am-3am, and depending on the subject, I get either
low 80's or mid 90's. Except for recently, when I stopped bothering to try for some reason...?

Yea, something else that I can't stand, is being somebody's punching bag, so to speak. When you start to fear/become wary of and have to 'rearrange' yourself to make sure somebody else stays happy, something's wrong with that picture. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to cheer up somebody who's down, but...let's look at this scenario in dog-terms!


When dogs have a problem with each other, the more dominant dog pins down the other dog, who in turn, will show signs of submission. These signs include lowering their ears, tucking their tail between their legs,
and rolling over to expose their stomachs in surrender. So when somebody has to be THAT submissive when they're around a person who's not exactly having the best day, it's best to just get yourself out of that situation.

Whenever there were times where I found no wrong in what I did, and it later on became evident that I had done nothing wrong, I would still end up going to the other person and apologize for being part (not the cause) of the conflict,
and attempt to patch things together again. [...research period] 1 John 4:19 always reminded me, "We love, because He first loved us."

Matthew 5:39b always popped up in my mind as well, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." I took it the wrong way and always backed out of the circumstance to appease the other, or I would just ignore them without being rude. I don't think that I'm getting the full point of this passage though.

[...research period] But after I read {this article,} I realized the significance of this verse, and it was quite eye-opening for me! Anyway, no point in continuing to rant on, but things are gonna be different from now on. I'm tired of being a punching bag, so until people are ready to take their boxing gloves off, I'm not going to 'walk in front of the swing and get kicked.' Yea it's strange to be feeling this about people who I care about, but once it happens enough times, it gets on my nerves.

I understand that we all have our personal issues, but if you're not able to share with me about it (whether it be because you don't wanna tel
l anybody anything, or you feel as if I'm not worth telling/trustworthy enough), then okay. I'd like to be there for you in your time of troubles, but if you're unwilling to talk about it, that's fine with me, I didn't expect any change. Just don't expect me to take all the lashes that you send out towards me anymore.

There were actually two other topics that I wanted to blog about, but since I already blogged about the above topic, it wouldn't be wise for me to talk about the other two, 'cause it would seem really negative. The topics by
themselves are actually my ponderings, but I'll save those ideas for some other time!

Just this past Sunday, I happened to be 'studying' in one of th
e rooms at church, and a little girl by the name of Jalena came in and asked me to help her to make a fish. For those who have gone to summer camps in their childhood years, especially the girls, you'll remember making gimp or lanyard crafts. Hers was a simple 'square formation,' and required me to only twist it until it was the shape of a fish. Eventually, some other little kids (their parents were playing badminton in the gym) came in and asked what we were doing.

Of course, they wanted to make one too, and Jalena was generous enough to give them gimp and teach them. However, she claimed that it was too hard to teach them, and asked me to start off the beginning of each gimp piece! It was pretty fun, even when things got hectic with 5 kids heckling me for help =P But because her package of gimp came with instructions, when the kids settled down, I was able to learn how to make a different formation.

(Please excuse my different terms each time, because I don't really know what to call the gimp 'things' xD) I have now become re-addicted and am [...research period] HEY lol, other names for gimp can be boondoggle and scoubidou, LOL! Please tell me that I'm not the only one amused! [...research period] Uh anyway, I've forgotten my point by now, but all I know is that I'm gonna bug mom until she goes to the dollar store to buy me a package, and then I'm gonna learn a whole bunch of new stitches, whee!

Oh gee, I have an English summative due tmrw because I took English this year because I adore it but I haven't started my summative because I'm still procrastinating because this blog post actually took me over 2 hours because I was distracted with Youtube among other things because as much as I love working on English summatives (seriously LOL) I love being lazy even more because I'm Starr. Make sense?

Nah =]

THESE things! For some reason, I go all sparkly-eyes when I see this...I wanna learn EVERY STITCH! =D So yea, I think I made the right choice when I signed up for the arts&crafts station at my church's VBS lol!

Ownerrr, I hope you've arrived safely in China and that you're having a great time right now! I was planning to be upset at you since you didn't visit before you left (and now I won't get to see you until...91475917596728 seconds later! Is that enough seconds to last 3 months? You do the math, please!), but my heart is too broken to be upset...
I'm just kidding, hope you have the time of your life! Btw, I saw your mom at STC last Thursday =P Expect an E-star E-mail coming to an inbox near you!

NOO, mom's making me turn the cpu off, how am I supposed to WORK now?! Uh ohhh...

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