Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The day after Jelly's 17th


But at least I get to bus with my JELLY to see my <3er!

Oh lovely day!

Then, off to the Art Gallery of Ontario w/ Jelly-elly-ka and Mr.K and his friends

Woohoo =) I'm off to...expand my artistic horizons? Iunno ^^;

Monday, June 22, 2009

I <3 salmon sashimi

This is in dedication to my obsession with salmon sashimi...
Enjoy the feast for your my eyes! ♥


Look at that beautiful, slimy, orange, delicious piece of fish heaven! What's NOT to love?


Confessions of an allegrophobic & cyberchondriac & salmon sashimi obsessor

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ -->one for each year of your lovely life so far!
The txt I sent her said, "Birthdays are good for you...the more you have, the longer you live!"
Oh hahaha =)

I'm watching tons of Justin & Jake videos on Youtube, they're insanely adorable, I find...the two of them are gonna grow up to be heartbreakers! Oop, on to Ellen videos...now lion videos! I'm actually watching videos of lionesses hunting, wow xD

Oh, yesterday, I was late for church, and when I arrived more than 30 mins late, I sorta...let's not reveal where I hid, but I hid there until service was over. It got me thinking, because it's not the first time that's happened...Whenever I'm SUPER LATE for something, I'd rather hide and not go instead of entering late.

The most 'memorable' time was when I was 13 I think...I went to the washroom and had no way of finding out the time. I knew that service usually lasted an hour and a half, so what I resorted to was counting to 60, and every time I reached 60, I would rip one square of tissue paper out, and restart. However, by the time I reached '90 minutes,' it was really '120 minutes,' and mom was furious, as she couldn't find me for 2 whole hours!

I looked it up online, and I might have Allegrophobia, fear of being late...I don't hyperventilate or have shortness of breath, but I just CAN'T enter a room if I'm late for more than...30 minutes max?

What I also am, is
a cyberchondriac-->hypochondriac who imagines that he or she has a particular disease based on medical information gleaned from the Internet
hypochondriac-->a person with somatic over-concern to the details of bodily functioning and exaggeration of any symptoms no matter how insignificant.

Check my Firefox history, and whatever's not FB/YT is Google, and a HUGE chunk of those Google searches are about some disease/problem I'm convinced I have. Just something interesting I wanted to share! LOL, won't that be fun for other people, next time I'm at one of those 'let's go around and share something interesting about ourselves!' circles xD

Anyway, yesterday was Father's day...Didn't know whether I should've felt bitter, angry, forgiving, reminescent, lonely, glad, or nonchalant. I had a talk with a friend of mine who understands from personal experience, and he's sort of worse off than me, because his situation was more recent than mine and it's still happening. He claimed that I'm the strongest person he knows, and I seemed to draw strength from that, and was able to talk him through his day.

It was interesting because at church yesterday, I overheard the little kids preparing for a skit for father's day, and I felt so much grief for a moment, because as I shared with my friend, "I hope none of them will ever have to experience what we've gone through."

He revealed to me that he understood that the fathers deserved recognition, but he also felt really selfish on Sunday as he sat through service because he just wanted to share the same happy memories that each of the members of his congregation had of their own fathers.

I then managed to convince him that we're in no way selfish for wanting something that we didn't play a role in getting rid of. Like I told him, "we just learn earlier than most people that life isn't a fairytale."

Enough about that though, JLam helped me rename 'father's day' to 'heavenly father lifetime,' and it reminded me of my testimony, when I shared that the absence of my dad led to me becoming a stronger and more mature person.

Which leads to the reason of my personal msg on MSN, which read, "remind me that the burden has now become a blessing." Thankfully, father's day is only celebrated once a year, so until next year, these melancholy thoughts shall be tucked away until I'm able to rid myself of them, once and for all.

Since I'm still on my salmon sashimi high, and I have NO way of satisfying that need, I will have to resort to eating toast with avacado, mom's suggested breakfast for me. Yes, I'm well aware that it is now 2:13pm, but I've been too distracted with other things on my mind to remember to eat!

So the way I see it, salmon sashimi is 'made' in Japanese sushi places, WHERE california rolls and other assorted sushi is 'made,' and since california rolls have avacado in them, if I have toast with avacado, it's PRACTICALLY the same as eating a california roll, which is PRACTICALLY the same as eating something from the same place that 'makes' salmon sashimi, so it's PRACTICALLY like eating salmon sashimi, because OMG, I REALLY WANT SALMON SASHIMI because I'm Starr. Make sense?

Nah =]

*faints from salmon sashimi deprivation*

Monday, June 15, 2009

27 reasons why she's weird

Today was a pretty interesting, if not fun day!
June 15, 2009, 9:00 am = my bio exam
Since I've practically perfected the fine art of procrastination (LOOK AT ALL THAT ALLITERATION!), throughout the entire weekend, I ignored my bio textbook. So come Monday morning, 7:30am, there I was, attempting to read/learn/study 23 chapters/half a year's worth of info in one hour. I eventually decided to skip the textbook and just go through my notes, and 60 mins later, I marched into my exam room, as ready as a person who just super-crammed could be.

Turns out the exam wasn't that bad! I know I could've done so much better, but I'm satisfied, since the exam's only 10% of my final mark, compared to the 30% of my math exam, omg T_T This Tuesday determines the rest of my summer/year, 'cause that's when I know whether I passed math or not...THE STRESS!!

After hanging around my ex-locker area for 20 mins after the bio exam, a group of us decided to go to the food court for lunch. While we were about to cross the road, we ran into/convinced CFung to go to lunch with us. Over lunch, JLam mentioned that he found Jelly very strange, and said that he would add her last strange action to his growing list at home. "So, far, I have 27 reasons on my list of why you're weird =D" said he.

For the rest of the hour or two, CFung, Zing and JLam added on to the list. If Jelly spilled a drink, it counted. If Jelly questioned something, it counted. If she tried to stop talking, it counted. The guys then concluded that if they were able to reach 100 reasons before we finished lunch, she'd hafta pay them each $1.

Things that guys will do for money...But not these 3, no, they just did it for the pure fun of tormenting Jelly! However, I managed to persuade/force them to bump it back down to 60, since many did not count. Alas, they quickly reached 100 anyway, sigh.

Afterwards, I suggested that we go to the nearby park. So we happily frolicked along together there. We swung on the swings for a while, and then gathered around the bench to just 'chill.' (It's only in quotations because I don't use that word myself, not because we did something other than chill, lol) Afterwards, JLam and CFung left, so - {6 days later} LOL I should remember to always end my sentences before I leave, 'cause everytime I return, my mind=..........?

Well whatever, on to a new topic! {11 hours later} LOL sorry, I had to go sleep...I can see that this might take a while, so my goal is to FINISH this post TODAY! Within the next 3 hours, yes. I was counting the other day, and realized that on average, my posts are about 15 paragraphs long...I think I should go for quality > quantity, but I don't think I ramble a lot either...But anyway, I forgot the original reason why I wanted to blog about my post-bio exam day, but it was a fun day nevertheless.

++Post break!++
(Or else I'd receive more complaints about how my blog posts are always WAY TOO LONG! I don't have much on my agenda today, think I'll be churning out QUITE a lot of posts!)

MY FAVOURITE FOOD OF ALL TIME, SALMON SASHIMI <3!!! If you were sleeping in my house right now, you'd be shocked awake because I'm whimpering my head off from desire, lol lol, I'm serious. Just yesterday, salmon sashimi somehow came into a conversation, and my 24/7 craving is now on SUPER HIGH, especially since I'm torturing myself by Googling images of salmon sashimi, droooooooool...If anybody wanted something from me, all they need to do is buy a plate of salmon sashimi and wave it in front of me, and omg, I'm a goner. I waaaaaaant! ='(

Saturday, June 6, 2009

What if...?

It's funny, because now whenever I think of something interesting, I'll think to myself, "hey, that's pretty interesting! I think I should blog about it." Then, I'll open up the 'notes' in my phone and add the idea to my note titled, "Blog about..."
What's also funny is that I started this post at 11am, and I went and did some other stuff, and now it is 6:30pm. About time to fini
sh this post, oui? Oh whoa, and now it's 8:35pm! Silly distractions!

About my last post, now that I reflect on it, it seems a little harsh, and I spent some time wondering whether I should delete it or not. Thankfully, things have improved btwn the two of us. Either I was the only one upset or she got over it or we just both subconsciously decided to fix things, but now it's as if the incident never happened...However, since this is a blog, I don't want to have to hide things from the select few of you who read it, so here it shall stay.

9:33pm now! This is gonna be one of the 'taken the most time to write' posts! Okay, first topic of this post: What if the other me existed? J
ust a few days ago, my mom was telling me about an old boyfriend of hers. [cue romantic reminiscent music] They went to high school together, but he eventually went to Australia for university, then to work in Hong Kong in the jewellery business. Interestingly enough, my mom's part-time job at a jewellery store has business connections with mom's ex-bf!

It was weird, she was telling me about how he used to be quite the handsome guy when they were younger, but when I see his photo, I can't picture him as a handsome guy...Ack sorry if that sounds mean, but he's such a typical 'slightly balding, black rimmed glasses, middle-aged man!' I asked why
things didn't work out between the two of them, and she told me that it was very difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship.

{btw, watch this video of Kerrie Pickler's interview w/ Ellen if you have the time! Most ppl find her annoying/blonde, but for some reason, I find her so cute and amusing to watch! My fav. part is 1:31-1:35, it's SO me when I'm excited! Seriously, when I'm high (happy high, not drug high!), I'm so eager to get my words out that the words will scramble themselves up on their way to my mouth from my brain! Totally not my fault!

Other times, I'll just randomly lose track of what I'm saying and if the other person stopped listening, I'll ask 'uhh, where was I?' Then, the two of us will spend around a min trying to figure out what I was talking about before I'm hit with another thought and start talking about that instead. Obviously, at some random time later on, the lost thought returns, and I'll just jump into that again!}

10:27, oy! I was talking about...ah, good thing it's all typed up, all I need to do is scroll! Thank goodness for technology, or else I'd never get anything done/finish any of my thoughts! So yea, the discussion with m
y mom got me thinking. What if mom's ex-bf didn't go to Australia? What if he had stayed in Toronto?

Well for starters, my mom wouldn't have married my dad, which means that my brother and I would not have been born. So if I were to assume that most of the decisions in my life were made by my mom, what if it was actually the same in the life of 'other me?'

By that, I mean the decisions of where to live and such. So if my mom really wanted to stay in Toronto and live in all the places(house
s) that I've lived in, wouldn't that mean if my mom had a kid at the same time as she had me, the kid would be sitting in the exact same chair I'm sitting in right now?

Well, obviously the person would be different, so they could either by out partying or actually DOING homework, or maybe they would be in [...research period] (ugh, cities are so hard to find on world maps from Google!) whatever, Greenland as an exchange student...

But yea, I found that very mind-boggling! So that means the
y would be going to my school, but possibly as well as not quite possibly have the same set of friends as me. What kind of person would he/she be? How different would he/she and I be? If I were to be myself in somebody else's place, would the 'other me' and I have been friends?

But of course, I remember
Psalm 139:13, "I knit you together in your mother's womb," and Ephesians 1:11-12, "I chose you when I planned creation." So yay! But still, it was an interesting thought that I chewed on for quite a long time!

11:11pm haha, I past the 12-hour mark for writing a blog post! WOW this was long...when am I ever going to learn to write short posts?? Not i
n the upcoming future, that's for sure! It seems as if I never know when to stop writing, and especially since there's no limit here, I just keep going and going and going and going and-

So I was supposed to go to tutoring for math this morning because I fail at math because I'm not a 'REAL ASIAN >=D or should the smiley be ^_^\/' but because I've been busy/aka lazy, I haven't finished the assigned hm
wk, so my session is moved until tmrw night because I'll have time to finish the hmwk by then, but because I'm easily distracted/don't want to do math hmwk, I've been watching Youtube videos and MSN'ing and blogging and Facebooking because I'm Starr. Make sense?

Nah =]

So, the way I choose my bloggly (like daily, get it? =D oh, funny is me..) picture is a bit strange. Sometimes it'll be something that's on my mind, or a word that I find amusing, or just something completely out of the blue. In the future, see if you can categorize my bloggly pictures!

I never intended to have a bloggly picture, but I'm a creature of habit. My first post had a picture and a caption, and what I do when I write a post now, is refer back to older posts to see if everything 'matches,' so to speak. Bloggly...I should name one of my future dogs that, the word is quite tongue-friendly! Meaning, it rolls off one's tongue well?

ANYWAY, I haven't even started to talk about the picture! I was rifling through my mind for words that I liked, and 'doozie' appeared. So, I Google image'd 'doozie,' and was rewarded with a Double Doozie
® from Great American Cookies! Wow look at the cream, it's like...perfectly twisted like a towel! And don't even get me started, why are there so few M&M's?! The best cookie ever would be made of entirely M&M's with cookie crumbs dusted on top, sandwiching vanilla cream! Just kidding, I chose this pic because most of the other image results were of these old fashioned cars, sigh.

11:47, so much for doing math hmwk! Btw, I said "
Okay, first topic of this post" up in paragraph 3, and I realized that it was all I talked about! There were no other topics, because I blabbered for too long! >=/

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Open sesame, the gates have been open...

Two more days, and then I will be FREE from summatives! Then comes exam week right after, great...But I only have two exams, YAY! But I might hafta take summer school if I don't do well on my 30% math final...yes, it's that bad, sobsob.

I can't stand how teachers always talk about how I'm smart and have potential, but I just need to work harder. I can't stand it because it's so true! I procrastinate, I'm lazy, and argh, if I was one of those kids who did all their assignments the day it was handed out instead of 3 weeks later the night before, IMAGINE what my average would be like!

I do everything the night before, from like 1am-3am, and depending on the subject, I get either
low 80's or mid 90's. Except for recently, when I stopped bothering to try for some reason...?

Yea, something else that I can't stand, is being somebody's punching bag, so to speak. When you start to fear/become wary of and have to 'rearrange' yourself to make sure somebody else stays happy, something's wrong with that picture. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to cheer up somebody who's down, but...let's look at this scenario in dog-terms!

When dogs have a problem with each other, the more dominant dog pins down the other dog, who in turn, will show signs of submission. These signs include lowering their ears, tucking their tail between their legs,
and rolling over to expose their stomachs in surrender. So when somebody has to be THAT submissive when they're around a person who's not exactly having the best day, it's best to just get yourself out of that situation.

Whenever there were times where I found no wrong in what I did, and it later on became evident that I had done nothing wrong, I would still end up going to the other person and apologize for being part (not the cause) of the conflict,
and attempt to patch things together again. [...research period] 1 John 4:19 always reminded me, "We love, because He first loved us."

Matthew 5:39b always popped up in my mind as well, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." I took it the wrong way and always backed out of the circumstance to appease the other, or I would just ignore them without being rude. I don't think that I'm getting the full point of this passage though.

[...research period] But after I read {this article,} I realized the significance of this verse, and it was quite eye-opening for me! Anyway, no point in continuing to rant on, but things are gonna be different from now on. I'm tired of being a punching bag, so until people are ready to take their boxing gloves off, I'm not going to 'walk in front of the swing and get kicked.' Yea it's strange to be feeling this about people who I care about, but once it happens enough times, it gets on my nerves.

I understand that we all have our personal issues, but if you're not able to share with me about it (whether it be because you don't wanna tel
l anybody anything, or you feel as if I'm not worth telling/trustworthy enough), then okay. I'd like to be there for you in your time of troubles, but if you're unwilling to talk about it, that's fine with me, I didn't expect any change. Just don't expect me to take all the lashes that you send out towards me anymore.

There were actually two other topics that I wanted to blog about, but since I already blogged about the above topic, it wouldn't be wise for me to talk about the other two, 'cause it would seem really negative. The topics by
themselves are actually my ponderings, but I'll save those ideas for some other time!

Just this past Sunday, I happened to be 'studying' in one of th
e rooms at church, and a little girl by the name of Jalena came in and asked me to help her to make a fish. For those who have gone to summer camps in their childhood years, especially the girls, you'll remember making gimp or lanyard crafts. Hers was a simple 'square formation,' and required me to only twist it until it was the shape of a fish. Eventually, some other little kids (their parents were playing badminton in the gym) came in and asked what we were doing.

Of course, they wanted to make one too, and Jalena was generous enough to give them gimp and teach them. However, she claimed that it was too hard to teach them, and asked me to start off the beginning of each gimp piece! It was pretty fun, even when things got hectic with 5 kids heckling me for help =P But because her package of gimp came with instructions, when the kids settled down, I was able to learn how to make a different formation.

(Please excuse my different terms each time, because I don't really know what to call the gimp 'things' xD) I have now become re-addicted and am [...research period] HEY lol, other names for gimp can be boondoggle and scoubidou, LOL! Please tell me that I'm not the only one amused! [...research period] Uh anyway, I've forgotten my point by now, but all I know is that I'm gonna bug mom until she goes to the dollar store to buy me a package, and then I'm gonna learn a whole bunch of new stitches, whee!

Oh gee, I have an English summative due tmrw because I took English this year because I adore it but I haven't started my summative because I'm still procrastinating because this blog post actually took me over 2 hours because I was distracted with Youtube among other things because as much as I love working on English summatives (seriously LOL) I love being lazy even more because I'm Starr. Make sense?

Nah =]

THESE things! For some reason, I go all sparkly-eyes when I see this...I wanna learn EVERY STITCH! =D So yea, I think I made the right choice when I signed up for the arts&crafts station at my church's VBS lol!

Ownerrr, I hope you've arrived safely in China and that you're having a great time right now! I was planning to be upset at you since you didn't visit before you left (and now I won't get to see you until...91475917596728 seconds later! Is that enough seconds to last 3 months? You do the math, please!), but my heart is too broken to be upset...
I'm just kidding, hope you have the time of your life! Btw, I saw your mom at STC last Thursday =P Expect an E-star E-mail coming to an inbox near you!

NOO, mom's making me turn the cpu off, how am I supposed to WORK now?! Uh ohhh...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Strange May weather brings Starr and blogging together

Wow, LONG time no blog, Starr! Gee, is she ACTUALLY talking to herself?! Yep, definitely need to blog! There's been so much that I've wanted to blog about, but when it came down to actually typing everything up, I was too lazy to...Now I have TONS to write about, yay! I'm wondering if anybody's actually been checking my blog, and sorry if there were never any updates, but TODAY, there will be!

A while back, Tori and I were waiting at the bus stop when we were approached by a middle aged man. He told us that he was a salesperson and was trying to find a specific street. Since we didn't know any nearby streets, Tori suggested that he board the bus with us and as
k the bus driver if he knew where the man's street was. When the bus came, the man boarded without paying and mentioned that all he wanted to know was where his street was, because his instructions had brought him to the wrong place.

The bus driver then proceeded to ask on the
PA whether any of the bus riders knew where the man's street was. This prompted a few riders to pipe up suggestions or comments, but none were of any help. While riders were talking aloud to themselves about whether they knew where the street was, the bus driver had no choice but to move the bus forward.

He then apologized to the man for not being any help and suggested that the man get off the bus before he was taken away even further from his intended destination. The man thanked everybody for their help and stepped off. Tori then puzzled aloud to me about the street name, because she was sure that she had heard of it before.

Obviously, since movie moments are based on real life situations, the next stop that we passed HAD to be the one that the man was searching for. Right after the TTC bus voice announced the street, there was a brief silence before several riders voiced their opinions on how unfortunate/ironic it was. The woman beside me (or was it a man? Can't remember!) then told me how 'she knew all along that the street was nearby, and gosh darn it, why couldn't she have remembered on time?'

Together as a bus, we 'mourned a lost opportunity,' for a chance that could've pointed the man in the right direction...I decided to write about this not because it had a happy ending (because it didn't), but
because it was a moment that brought together so many strangers, people who I will never see again or remember...It's these types of moments that make my head go WHOOSH! =D

Next topic, my brother's girlfriend! So for those who are unaware, I have a 10 year old brother, and for this blog's sake, I'll call him...'my brother' (to keep his identity safe, y'know? ;P). So a while back, when the said brother was being picked up by his baby-sitter from school, the baby-sitter's kids stuck their heads out of the car window and asked the first girl they saw whether she liked my brother.

When she said that she did, choruses of '[brother] and Nicole, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!' could be heard all the way from [...research period] Mauritius. And yes, I just totally Google imaged 'world map' and grabbed the first interesting word I saw!

Anyway, the next day, my brother came home in a depressed mood, not his usual annoying self. When my mom asked him what the matter was, he burst into tears, wailing about how Nicole didn't say hi to him that day. For some reason, although I felt sorry for him, I was also highly amused at his 'broken-heartedness.'

I mean, before that day, neither my mom or I had any clue who Nicole was, but apparently, after being called his girlfriend, he grew feelings for her overnight. It just didn't make sense to me to see a 10-year old boy so devastated over a girl who's not his girlfriend...Can it even be called puppy love?

Argh, lately I've been really 'out of it,' not handing in my hmwk assignments, not trying to DO the hmwk assignments, and worst of all, not caring that I'm not trying to hand in the hmwk assignments.
Compared to the me before all of this, yes I was lazy, but I would kill myself to stay up until 4am the night before to hand in an assignment...For a while, I was worried that I was suffering from some sort of depression, but I only seem to have one or two symptoms, so I guess not?

But this is my last summative week and I HAVE TO hand those in, or else I won't be able to gain back all the marks I lost from those assignments that I didn't do before! Yet, I still haven't touched any work today...Soo many distractions! Hopefully I'll be able to get back on track soon, because the fear of not handing in smtn worth 30% of my term mark scares the HECK out of my Asian side!

So I was worried about nothing because I was just being paranoid but because I'm pretty sure that there's smtn to be paranoid about because of my instincts, I can't help but stay paranoid because I'm Starr. Make sense?

Nah =]

For some bizarre reason, the word 'pumpernickel' amuses me to a great extent. At times, I'll randomly pull that word from my vocab, 'just because.' The image of this German bread isn't that appealing, but the different warm shades of brown are quite aesthetic. Legend has it that when this bread was presented to Napoleon, he refused to eat it, claiming that the bread was "pain pour Nicole," that the bread was unfit for human consumption and that only horses (like those called Nicole) could eat it. Thus the word, pumpernickel. However, it turns out that the word 'pumpernickel' came from an Old German word, pumpern, which means "to break wind" and nickel, which means "demon." In other words, pumpernickel means 'devil-fart bread!' Interestingly enough, I don't think I've ever had pumpernickel before...does anybody know if it actually smells bad? I swear (not literally) that years later, I'll happen to see a picture of pumpernickel bread in 'my photos,' and I'll be wondering, "what the heck is this doing here?!"